For All My Extroverts Out There

Introverts around the world are rejoicing as social gatherings are cancelled, public places are closed, and staying at home becomes civic duty rather than a sign of antisocial behaviour. 

Extroverts, on the other hand, are not doing so well. We thrive in social settings, drawing energy from face-to-face interactions and generally being out and about. We are not doing well in this time. 

Just a few weeks ago, the thought of working from home and limiting social contact seemed ominous - of course, for obvious reasons but also for my social and emotional well being. I draw my energy mostly from interactions with my loved ones but also from casual conversation with colleagues, acquaintances, and the occasional stranger. I'm usually that annoying person at work who will strike up a conversation with just about anyone... 

As humorous as the memes about my impending fear about being "stuck indoors" were, this situation has helped me learn and grow in my understanding of what it means to stay at home. 

Up until it became glaringly obvious that we all need to stay the f*** home, my days had been filled with the same routine of going to work and gym on the weekdays punctuated with the occasional meet-up with friends - and finding time to collapse from mental and physical exhaustion in between. I gave myself over to this routine, giving it 100% of my energy and emotional resources without allocating resources to my personal time. 

I found myself longing for more time to be by myself, vying for time to just... emotionally process my experiences and slow down. The best way I can describe the feeling is that it felt like I was experiencing a time-skip every day. I would 'blink' and find that time had passed without my notice. The worst part is that I wasn't able to savour experiences - like memorable moments with friends or learning opportunities. 

And so, with this stretch of unstructured and unplanned time, I finally feel like I can just slow down and BREATHE. Today I just did a thorough clean of our home. Maybe tomorrow I'll wash my car. I don't know what I'll do for the next few days, but I don't feel the need to plan it all out. Relieving myself of he pressure of filling my schedule has been the healthiest thing I have done for myself in this time. 

My husband has been a tremendous support - especially in this time - to help me recognize the signs that I need to find peace and solace in my own hobbies and interests. He is an introvert who thrives when he has time to himself. He has been upbeat amidst all of this, and his positive attitude definitely keeps my spirits up. Home holds an endless abundance of entertainment for him. 

Drawing my energy from external sources can be immensely beneficial - but it can also act as a coping mechanism for some complex emotions that I consciously or unconsciously avoid processing. In the spirit of vulnerability, I have to be mindful that in sharing my vulnerable emotional experiences, I am not unconsciously trying to seek assistance from others to heal my wounds. 

You know I love lists, so here's one for you - here are 3 ways I plan to balance my extroverted needs with some introvert-inspired techniques:

1. Taking My Time. If you're an extrovert, you're used to hearing friends, family, colleagues, and mentors telling you that you need to slow down. If you're used to hearing this, you're also used to ignoring the well-intentioned advice too. But here's the beauty of this unsolicited advice - slowing down allows you to enjoy the moment more deeply and for longer. 

2. Savour the moment. Practicing gratitude is especially important during this time. Do: Take a minute and think about ONE moment in your day that brought you joy or peace. A moment that brought me joy today was having a clean space to breathe and rest. 

3. Sleep, and sleep a lot. Sleep, with its miraculous restorative powers, seems to be the first thing that goes whenever the pace of life accelerates. Quality sleep is linked to better intellectual performance as well as improved mental helath. You can practice good sleep hygiene by minimizing activities that stimulate your brain and keep you awake right before bed, such as being on your phone or having caffeine in the evening. 

I don't know how far this mindset I am adopting will take me in this time, but I won't know unless I try. I am sure I will have good days and bad days and it's not healthy or helpful to prepare myself for the worst, despite that being the public health mantra these days. 

For all my extroverts out there, struggling with being at home, I invite you to ask yourself... What is your plan to slow down at this time?