A Guide to Personal Wellness

I recently read a Buzzfeed editorial by Anne Helen Pearson titled, "How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation" in which she described the crippling anxiety felt by many millennials and the corresponding burn-out as a result of a culture in which having two, three, or even four jobs is the 'norm'. If you're not adhering to these expectations, you're not doing 'enough'.

I turn 26 this year, and I've learned something important. I've learned to stop listening to that little voice in my head that tells me to 'get ahead' - that little voice does not take into consideration what my physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are. That little voice, which I suspect everyone has a version of, tells me to get off my ass and 'do more' when I'm sitting at home on a Saturday evening, enjoying the first moments I've had to myself all week. "You're not doing enough," it tells me. "You've got friends who are making a real difference. And you're just sitting at home eating chips."

The voice spurns a guilt within that once drove me to insanity - working 3 part-time jobs to carve out a career for myself in an industry of burn-outs while balancing commitments to my family, friends, and relationship. I was in the worst health of my life which, being someone in relatively good health, was a big shock. I couldn't eat and I barely slept. I questioned myself at every turn. I was, in short, just unhappy - and everything from my mind to my body was telling me that.

You might think, "V, isn't this appropriate for someone your age? Isn't it normal to work your butt off in the initial years of your career so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labour later on?" Here's the thing. That belief stems from an antiquated view of career and lifestyle choices. We no longer live in a society in which most entry level jobs lead to a vertical ascension in career. Our labour market no longer supplies employment opportunities that result in 35-year-long careers with a single company. We live in a gig-based economy which means new and seasoned workers/professionals jump from one job to another. The average length of time a person spends working in a single position has decreased dramatically from what it was when our parents were entering the work force. So why do we continue to hold the same views as older generations when our circumstances are vastly different?

I don't know what the answer is - but I know what my values are. I believe in a work-life balance. I love the work that I do - I honestly adore it - but I know I am sacrificing my earning potential for job-security. To me, the level of pressure I deal with on a daily basis works for me. It's just enough that I can decompress almost fully when I go home. To me, the lower wage (in comparison to other folks my age who are working higher wage jobs) means that I am more careful with my money, which is how I was raised and intend to be through my lifetime. Material possessions, to me, are great, but they rarely spark true, lasting joy for me. I leave work every day at the same time, giving me the ability to build a routine around the things that I actually want to do, like see my friends and family, go to the gym, run errands, take up sports, etc. There are drawbacks, inevitably, but I'm doing just fine by choosing to live this way.

Listen to your heart, mind, body, and spirit - listen to the signs that tell you that you're making the right choices. Listen to the signs that tell you that change needs to occur. Don't ignore the red flags that tell you change needs to occur. And most important of all, be kind to yourself.

Happy New Year! - and some updates...

Dear community of devoted readers... whomever you may be... Thanks for tuning in!

Welcome to 2019! It has been a solid 2+ years since my last blog post, and a lot of things have happened. A lot of change and personal growth has occurred. Using writing as a medium for self-expression has always helped me to stay grounded and make sense of an otherwise nonsensical existence. What's new, you may ask? 

I'm getting married! In October of this year, I am pleased to say that I will be tying the knot with my best friend and soulmate of two years. We met in late-2016 and will be commemorating our third anniversary together with the ultimate expression of love and commitment to one another. I couldn't be happier about this occasion. 

I am happy and settled in my current work. In 2017, after many ups and downs in my career, I decided to return to school and obtain a professional certification. I have earned a Career Development Practitioner Certificate and am now working toward a Vocational Rehabilitation Certification. Basically, I support people with disabilities and/or barriers to employment obtain and maintain employment. 

As I enter my late-20s this year, I have never been happier, stronger (both physically and mentally), and more confident. That said, I recognize that all of those things continually change and shift as time goes by but I feel a sense of conviction that I will be able to navigate those things with grace and ease. 

I recently started attending counselling, after which I realized that the period of depression that I experienced in 2016-2017 was actually a result of challenging life circumstances that snowballed into an overwhelming numbness, disconnection with reality, and darkness which I am still trying to understand to this day. Depression doesn't just happen. It's a tiny particle of ice that picks up companions along the way, gaining volume and building momentum as it tumbles down the mountain. I'm working hard to recognize when negative emotions start to build up and address the accumulation as I go along, rather than wait until it's too much for me to take and just shut down. 

Looking forward to doing more deep diving with you all in the coming months. Cheers!