The Beginning of the End

The end of 2016 came about like a sunset, dark memories encompassing us almost completely. But as quickly as it came, it went - bringing with it the bright sunrise of hope that is 2017.

I spent a few days reviewing the last year in blogs and vlogs, absorbing the experiences and memories that the last year have brought. I began the year with a strong start, narrating for readers my mental health struggles in a way that left me feeling raw and exposed. I became more closed off as time went on, choosing to conceal parts o f my life that I felt, in its exposure, would bring judgement either upon myself or others. Here I am again, and I hope that I can share with you, in complete honesty, my hopes for 2017.

• Because I am part-me and part-you, you can hurt me. Sometimes. 2016 was the year of relationships - relationships that have withstood the test of time, conflict, and misunderstandings. Though some relationships crumbled or sustained lasting damage, I emerged from the dust and rubble with a clearer idea of how to separate myself from harmful threads in relationships that cannot be broken - such as that of family. As much as I love my family, I must learn to differentiate myself from them and carve my own path to avoid sustaining further emotional damage. 
• The typical... Worry less and live more, be more surefooted... Continue on this path of discovering my true self/identity... 
• Traveling. This year, losing the financial constraint of school allowed me to travel more than I had ever traveled before - I caught a travel bug, the itch of which can only be alleviated through more world-seeking. I look forward to seeing more places in 2017, especially with my loved ones.
• Being Realistic. I've never had far-flung dreams of who I want to be - the constraint of reality applies only to my tendency to exaggerate the reasons why I should not do something, or why I should not have done something. I want to plan more - allow myself to see the reasons I should do something rather than discourage myself from exploring the possibilities.
• Take it Easy. Taking a break does not mean you're giving up. Slowing down does not mean you're losing momentum. I need to be easier on myself, and that involves less panicking, and more deep-breathing. 
• Start a bucket list. I love making lists, especially when I can cross things off as I've completed them. No more letting the year slip through my fingers - I will complete the things on my bucket list!
• Step outside of my comfort zone. As cliche as it may sound, I want to immerse myself in unfamiliar environments and lean into the discomfort of unfamiliarity. I want to be humbled by the experiences of others. 
• Keep writing. Keeping a weekly blog forced me to reflect on my emotions and share them with others on a public platform. Though my words were misconstrued by some, I hold onto the hope that it has, at least, helped a handful of people - whether my words inspired self-reflection or you took solace in my painful experiences, I hope you were, at the very least, gifted with some peace of mind. In 2017, my blog entries will be less frequent - but I welcome your ideas for topics to write about. 

Relax, meditate, and think about your goals. What do you want? What is within your power to achieve? What steps do you need to take to work toward your ultimate goal?